Wednesday, October 19, 2005

My New Heart-Throb!!!

He's short...only 20 1/2"
He's toothless...but he has a great smile!
He's bald...well, almost bald.
He's fat...for someone who's only 20 1/2" tall.
He's still in diapers...and I'm the one who changes him.
He's younger than 34 years!
He's jobless...unless you count eating, sleeping, and soiling diapers.
He cries a lot...when he's hungry, tired, or sitting in a soiled diaper!

He's quite a departure from the guys I've typically gone for, but I am SO IN LOVE WITH HIM!!!
I've told Bill all about him and he's totally okay with it...even letting him share our bed!

Well, what sane person in this world wouldn't??? Just look at him!

Monday, October 03, 2005

The Loveable Ulie

It was 2:30 p.m. on Thursday. The afternoon was rainy and cold in Mount Vernon. I was at the EMS office on CPR detail. My name is Bill, my wife is Glory, and we were about to have a baby.

(cue Dragnet theme music)

2:55 p.m. I dropped by the grocery store and got some hot dogs and tomato soup for the kids.

3:10 p.m. I walked into the house and saw Glory who looked like she was going to burst. She had called our midwife who was making her way along the rain-soaked interstate.

4:30 p.m. The midwife called and said that she would be running a little late. The wind continued to blow and the rain came down in sheets. We waited for the midwife.

(cue more dramatic music)

4:50 p.m. Midwife arrived in an ivory colored trench coat and an olive green hat. She was ready for business. After assessing the situation, the midwife determined that breaking the water was necessary. She broke Glory’s water. We then waited all night.

(scenes of pacing, playing cards, eating cookies, looking at the clock repeatedly, etc.)

11 p.m. The midwife had told us that we would likely have a delivery in at least six hours. The promised delivery did not happen. I was beginning to have my doubts.

12:30 a.m. We finally started seeing signs of the delivery. We woke up the midwife, who was sleeping on our eldest daughter’s bed, and got to work.

1:15 a.m. Glory gave a couple of effective pushes and our little son was born. Uilleam Theron Honour weighed a whopping 9 pounds, 8 ounces.

9 a.m. After many hours of taking care of the little one and Glory, and getting a couple hours of sleep, the midwife left us alone with our new son.

(end Dragnet music.)