Wednesday, September 22, 2010

I Am A Real Mom

The world of facebook got me to think about my role as a mother. The postings about, "Copy and repost if you're proud to be a mom" stuff? Well, it made me think about my less stellar moments and how we never talk about them. And why would we? Moms are infallable, tireless, exceptional examples of human greatness, right? Well, I decided to risk exposing some of my flaws in a therapeutic attempt to say, I Am Real! Enjoy!

Seeing my newborn’s happy grin at 2:46 a.m. didn’t always flood my heart with joy.

Sometimes the “sweet smell” of a baby wasn’t all that sweet, it just smelled.

I didn’t always change my baby’s diaper in a timely manner.

The time my baby rolled over, and off the bed, I didn’t scream because I was thrilled at this milestone in development.

I thwarted all my child’s efforts to climb.

When my baby babbled I put on an Academy-worthy performance of pretending I knew exactly what he was saying.

Co-sleeping was all about me getting more rest and had practically nothing at all to do with bonding or making my baby feel more secure.

I think babies shouldn’t learn to walk until they’re 5. They shouldn’t learn to talk until they’re 20, for that matter.

Potty training is best left in the hands of United States Military supervising officers.

Picky toddlers were the inspiration for food fights, by adults.

I have definitely yelled at my kids, sometimes even when they were being truly naughty.

When my kids ask if they can have a treat or watch a movie I will say no just because Mom can say no.

Muddy fingerprints on the wall will never be works of art.

I’m never mean on purpose.

There comes a very important time when a child gets mildly injured that I have to pretend I didn’t just see that happen.

I don’t completely trust my kids.

A good day is when the kids are alive at the end of it.

Crackers = Food = Lunch

It doesn’t make me a bad mother if I avoid hugging the kids when they’re dirty.

Just being honest, my reasons for homeschooling are not all noble. Unsuitable lunches and late starts are among the less noble reasons.

The fact that God loves my kids more than I ever will is proven every day.


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